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There are so many ways to birth - and no one way is the right way. However, I think fear of the unknown often comes into play and influences the way many of us decide to birth. I birthed Santi in a hospital, which is what felt safest to me at the time of his birth - I was scared of the pain, and of whether or not I would be able to handle it.
The second time around I was confident in my birthing abilities. I knew what to expect and knew that my body was capable. Even before finding out I was pregnant, I had reached out to a home birth midwife team and had made my decision to birth at home. My experience during my appointments with my home birth midwives, felt very different than my experience with my hospital midwives. We spent way more time together, going over every single decision and aspect of the pregnancy and birth, ensuring that I was fully educated on all topics and consent was possible (if you are not provided with all the evidence - on both sides - consent is not possible). There are so many decisions that have to be made on behalf of your body, as well as your baby's body, and these decisions cannot be made lightly.
Choose your Care Team
Sometimes when things are meant to be, they just feel right. During my initial interview with Morgan and Meredith, I knew they were the right fit for our family. In addition to the midwife team, I enlisted the help of a chiropractor early on. I wanted to make sure that my baby had room to be in the optimal position (Arlo was head down from 12 weeks on), and that my nerves were fully connected for efficient contractions during birth. The day after Arlo was born, our chiropractor came and adjusted us both - making sure both our body's were well connected. The birthing journey is just as hard on the baby as the mama, and chiropractic care can help with latching/nursing, sleeping, and pooping. It is a resource we continued to use the first few months after birth. Craniosacral therapy is another type of therapy that is helpful - especially for babies who suffer from colic. This type of therapy uses gentle touch to move the membranes and fluid around the central nervous system. After Arlo's sessions, he would often take a nice long nap. An additional service we utilized was placenta encapsulation. Women have been consuming their placentas for thousands of years. To consume them in capsule form, they are dehydrated and then put into capsules. I noticed no "baby blues", no post baby hair loss, and overall feelings of energy and wellbeing during the postpartum period with Arlo. I did not consume my placenta with Santi, and these were all improvements from my first experience postpartum. Due to my birthing style, I decided not to hire on a doula (I like to be super quiet, still, and left alone during labor), however many people find the support of a doula incredibly helpful!
Preparations
Regardless of where you are birthing, you will want to consider how you want to feel in your birthing environment - calm, empowered, strong? I found essential oils to be extremely helpful, especially during recovery. Many people like to have lavender or citrus oils diffusing during their birth. Maybe you want candles or fairy lights set up. Do you want to birth on the bed, in a tub, or somewhere else? Music is a great way to anchor your attention and focus during labor and serves as a way to bring you back into those birthing moments postpartum - every time I listen to Enya now, it brings me back to the most intense and beautiful moments of my life. Products to have on hand prior to birth:
Homeopathic Arnica
Wishgarden AfterEase
Organic Nipple Cream
Herbal Sitz Bath Pads
Ice Packs (for breasts)
High dose vitamin C (in case of mastitis)
Echinacea Root Extract (in case of mastitis)
Adult diapers
My Home Birth Story
I shared Arlo's birth story recently on his first birthday, and many people thanked me for sharing our story. I think sometimes it is refreshing to hear of birth stories that are not frightening, but empowering. I want you to know that birthing can be exactly what you want it to be. This is our story. It was 2AM on 5/19 when I finally woke up enough to realize that the cramping that had been waking me up for the last couple hours was contractions. I began timing them and found them to be around 6 minutes apart. I timed them for an hour before waking up Gabo. It was 3AM and my contractions were about 4 minutes apart. I went to the bathroom and saw that the toilet paper was tinted with blood. I decided to page the midwife - Morgan answered the page and asked a few questions - I was only 36 weeks 4 days and willing little Arlo to stay put since I hadn’t reached 37 weeks and was worried I would have to birth in a hospital. Fortunately he had been measuring 2-3 weeks ahead and they felt comfortable delivering him at home. Morgan told me to take a hot shower to see if my contractions slowed down - and they did. They were now about 10 minutes apart. I tried to lay back down and go to sleep, but before long they were coming closer together again. I kept checking in with Morgan and she told us to begin preparing for the birth. I sat at the edge of the bed listening to the rain as Gabo and Santi lay asleep - knowing this was the last time it would be just the three of us. I knew it was getting close so I woke up Gabo and he quickly got up, moving around busily - inflating the birth tub and filling it with water. Santi lay next to me in bed as I breathed through my contractions. Around 7AM I called my mom and told her we’d be bringing Santi over - Gabo dropped him off around 7:30AM, around the same time Morgan arrived. She sat with me on the bed and listened as I breathed through my contractions - she said they wouldn’t get any stronger, as they were barely giving me any breaks in between. Morgan and Hannah both checked me and I was 10, with just the slightest bit of cervical lip. I started to feel the need to push and Morgan called down the stairs that we were ready to come down into the tub. She guided me down between contractions and I could hear Enya’s voice filling the living room. As I approached the tub, a contraction hit and I began to push, leaning up against the outside of the tub. I jumped in - the water felt so nice and warm. I sat on my knees, my arms resting over the sides of the tub, squeezing Gabo’s hands as I pushed with each contraction. I could feel him moving down and then a gush as my water broke. I felt intense pressure as he came out and then the pressure began to fade and I could see his head between my legs. I pulled him up and Morgan had to help move the cord from around his neck. I lay with my back against the tub and Arlo against my chest - someone rubbed his back and he began to cry. It was 8:30AM. We lay there in the water for about 20 minutes. The cord had stopped pulsing and we finally cut it. I continued feeling contractions and pushed out the placenta. After a few more minutes someone helped me climb out of the tub and I sat on the couch. I was shaking. Arlo lay against me and nursed with a strong latch. When he was done, I gave him to Gabo and went with Hannah to the bathroom to get a bit cleaned up. They checked me and saw I had a first degree tear. We made our way upstairs and covered the bed in pads before laying down. Morgan, Hannah, and Meredith stayed with us until 11:30AM, continuously checking on vitals for Arlo & I. At that time, Gabo went to pick up a breakfast burrito and get Santi from my moms. Santi came up the stairs and looked with amazement at his new baby brother curled on my chest. He gently crawled over and touched his hand - the beginning of their brotherhood and our family of 4.
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